#18 RE Prospecting - Building a Business That Lasts

Hi ,

Pull up a chair, get a coffee, relax and get focused. This isn’t a short one. I wrote it on a plane while flying to Denver. You could ask ChatGPT or Gemini to summarize it, but you’ll miss the good stuff. 

I was calling past clients last spring when something shifted. Instead of leading with what I had to offer, I started asking them for advice. "What do you think about everything going on in real estate right now?" The pause on the other end told me everything. They weren't used to being asked, they were used to being sold to. But here's what happened: they opened up. They shared their concerns, their plans, their questions about the market. And in that moment, I wasn't just an agent anymore, I was someone they trusted enough to think out loud with. That conversation led to three referrals, not because I pitched anything, but because I showed up differently. When you change the question, you change the relationship. And when you change the relationship, the business follows. The great thing about this one is that I did it live on a coaching call, not knowing what was about to happen! 

On that note I need you to reach out to five past clients and ask them a real question. Not a sales question, a human one. "What do you think is happening in our market right now?" Then listen. Don't solve, don't pitch. Just listen. You'll be amazed at what comes back.

Now let’s shift for a second…here's a folder in every CRM that agents avoid, the one full of people who never responded. We treat those names like failures, like evidence that we're not good enough. How do I know? I did the same thing for years, LOL. But last month, I went through mine and made calls I should've made a year ago. My script was simple and honest: "You came through our database a while back, and honestly, I never followed up with you at the time. I don't know if you ever ended up buying or selling, or if real estate is even still something you want to do." Three people said yes. One of them closed last week. The lesson isn't that every dead lead will convert, it's that we abandon people too early because we're embarrassed. But nobody is keeping score except you. The person on the other end of that text or call doesn't remember you didn't follow up. They're just glad you did now.

Now it’s up to you. Pull up ten names from your database, people who inquired and went quiet. Send a simple text today: "Hi [Name], [Your Name] with [Brokerage]. You inquired about real estate a while back. Did you ever buy/sell, or is it still on your mind?" No excuses. No long explanations. Just reach out.

Now let’s talk some real talk please. Heart and soul moment. Last week one of my agents at the brokerage posted something on social media which prompted me to call him. It was something signaled to me he needed help emotionally. What about you…Think about this. 

What you say to yourself matters more than you think. Here's something I talk about in my book that most agents don't want to hear: the way you speak to yourself is programming your future. If your inner dialogue sounds like "I can't take this anymore" or "why is this so hard for me," then that's the lens you'll use to see every rejection, every no-show, every deal that falls through. I've watched top producers lose their edge not because the market shifted, but because their self-talk did. And I've seen struggling agents turn everything around the moment they started treating their thoughts like they mattered. Because they do. You can't expect clients to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself first. And belief isn't something you're born with, it's something you build, one thought at a time.

So, for the next 24 hours, pay attention to what you say in your head. When something goes wrong, notice if your first thought is "of course this happened to me" or "okay, what can I learn here?" Write down the negative patterns. Awareness is the starting point. You can't change what you don't see.

Carol Dweck teaches that a fixed mindset says, "This isn't something I'm good at," while a growth mindset says, "I'm not good yet, but I can get better." I used to think I wasn't good at cold calling. And because I believed that, I wasn't. Then I changed one word: yet. I'm not good at cold calling yet. That shift gave me permission to be bad at it while I practiced a lot!  And practice is what most agents skip because they want to be great immediately. But here's the truth, every agent you admire was terrible at something once. The difference is they stayed in the discomfort long enough to get better. Growth happens in the gap between where you are and where you want to be. And the only way across that gap is through the uncomfortable stuff you've been avoiding.

Pick one activity in your business you've been avoiding because it feels hard or awkward, cold calling, door knocking, video prospecting. Do it poorly three times this week. Not well. Poorly. Give yourself permission to be bad at it. That's where growth starts.

Everything in your business flows from three places: your mental space, your physical energy, and the people closest to you. I've coached agents who work eighty-hour weeks and wonder why nothing's working. The answer is always the same, they're running on empty. Your mind can't focus when your body is exhausted. Your relationships suffer when you're mentally scattered. And your business falls apart when both are out of balance. I'm not talking about perfection here—I'm talking about protection. Protect your morning. Move your body every day, even if it's just fifteen minutes. Stop spending time with people who drain you and start surrounding yourself with those who challenge you to think bigger. The agents who last in this business aren't the ones who grind the hardest. They're the ones who know how to recharge so they can keep showing up as their best selves.

Look at your calendar for next week. Block out thirty minutes every morning before you touch your phone, use it to move, reflect, or read. Then look at your relationships. Who are you spending the most time with? Are they lifting you up or pulling you down? Make one change this week that protects your energy.

Warren Buffett said, "The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken." I think about that line every time I talk to an agent who's stuck. They're not stuck because of one bad decision, they're stuck because of a hundred small decisions they stopped noticing. Skipping follow-up. Avoiding the hard calls. Saying yes to everything except the work that actually moves the needle. Your habits are either building the business you want or dismantling it one day at a time. And the scary part is, you won't feel it happening until it's too late. But here's the good news: if small habits can break you, they can also build you. One text to a past client. One uncomfortable call. One morning routine that centers you before the chaos starts. These things feel like nothing in the moment, but over weeks and months, they become everything.

You're capable of more than you think. But capability without action is just potential. And potential doesn't pay the bills or build the life you want. Take one thing from this newsletter and do it today. Not tomorrow. Today. Because the agents who win aren't the ones who know the most, they're the ones who do the most with what they know.

Keep moving forward,