#19 For Agents Who Wants to Lead, Not Just Sell

Hi ,

I was sitting in a coffee shop in Denver last week next to a newer agent scrolling through Zillow leads on her phone. She looked exhausted, not from working hard, but from working scattered. She had thirty browser tabs open, three different CRMs half-filled, and no system to tell her what actually mattered that day. I took some time to coach and help her before I took the stage to talk to the Colorado leadership for the board of realtors. Here’s what I told her, ‘your business will only grow as organized as your mind. When you don't have a plan for your day, your day plans you. Start tomorrow by writing down your top three priorities before you open your inbox or check your phone. Number them. Work through them in order. Everything else can wait. That simple act of deciding what matters most, before the world decides for you, will change the way you show up for your clients and yourself.’

There's a question I ask agents all the time, and it makes them uncomfortable: "Who needs your best energy right now?" Most of us give our best energy to whoever yells loudest, the demanding client, the urgent email, the last-minute crisis. But what if you flipped that? What if you looked at your day and asked, "Where will my presence actually make a difference today?" Maybe it's the first-time buyer who's nervous about their offer. Maybe it's your teammate who's struggling with rejection. Maybe it's your own family who hasn't seen you fully present in weeks. Leadership isn't just about being available. It's about being intentional with where you direct your focus, your care, and your energy. Today, before you react to the next fire, pause and ask yourself: who actually needs me to show up?

I used to think prospecting was about making more calls, that’s how I was coached and that’s what the telemarketing jobs all told me in my teens. Then I realized it was about making better connections. 

On stage this past week I spoke for 2 hours straight to a room full of leaders and I challenged this amazing group of agents to stop asking "Are you thinking of buying or selling?" and start asking "What's changing in your life right now?" That one shift turned transactional conversations into human ones. People don't want to be prospected. They want to be understood. When you lead with curiosity instead of pitching, you create space for real trust to grow. And trust is what turns a cold call into a referral three years later. This week, pick five people in your database and reach out, not with a market update, but with a real question. Ask them how they're doing. Ask what's on their mind. Listen longer than you talk. You'll be surprised what happens when you stop selling and start serving.

Here's the truth, people don't hire you because you know the market. They hire you because you care about their story. Every transaction is a life transition. A divorce. A new baby. A dream. A loss. When you slow down enough to hear the "why" behind the decision, you stop being a service provider and start being a trusted guide. 

Before your next appointment, take a breath and remind yourself: this isn't about your commission. It's about their next chapter. Ask them what this move means to them. Then listen like their answer is the only thing that matters. Because it is.

I've talked to thousands of agents who tell me they don't have time to plan their day, and I've seen thousands more on Lab Coat Agents say the same thing. Then I watch them spend two hours reacting to things that didn't matter. Here's what I know: the agents who win aren't busier than you. They're just more intentional. They plan their mornings before the world wakes up. They protect their time like it's their most valuable asset, because it is. They know that if they don't decide what success looks like today, someone else will decide for them. 

Try this tomorrow: before you go to bed tonight, write down the one thing that would make tomorrow a win. Not ten things. One. Then wake up and do that thing first, before email, before social media, before anything else. That's how you take your day back. That's how you stop drifting and start leading.

At the end of every day, I ask myself one question: did I move toward my vision today, or did I just stay busy? Most days, if I'm honest, I stayed busy. But the days I actually move forward? Those are the days I protected what mattered most. The days I said no to distractions. The days I showed up for the people who needed me. The days I remembered why I started this work in the first place. Real estate isn't just a career. It's a calling to serve people during some of the most important moments of their lives. Don't let the noise of the industry make you forget that. 

Tonight, before you close your laptop, take a minute and reflect: did today bring you closer to who you want to be? If not, that's okay. Tomorrow's a new chance. Plan it better. Protect it harder. Show up with more intention. Your business, and your peace, will follow.

Keep moving forward,