#24 RE Prospecting: The list that actually matters (and why you should scroll slowly)

Hi ,

I was sitting at my desk last week staring at my phone, scrolling through names I hadn’t reached out to in months. Some of them I’d known for years. Some had sent me referrals before. And yet there they sat, untouched, like forgotten seeds in a drawer.

That scroll reminded me of something I teach but sometimes forget to practice: the people who already love you are your best source of business.

Not strangers. Not cold leads. The ones who already root for you.

So I started fresh. I opened my contacts and asked one question for every name: Does this person actually care about me? Not in a transactional way, in a real way. By the end, I had a short list of about forty people who genuinely want me to win. That’s the list that matters.

If you haven’t done this lately, do it this week. Scroll slowly. Find thirty to fifty names. These are your people, and they’re waiting to hear from you.

And it reminds me of a conversation I had a few days ago at the Y event we did in Newport Beach. I had a conversation with an agent who told me she’d followed up with a lead twelve times and never heard back. She felt defeated. I asked her one question: Did you ever ask if they wanted you to stop?

She paused. She hadn’t.

Sometimes people don’t respond because life gets loud, not because they’re not interested. But sometimes they’re just not ready, and they don’t know how to say it. Giving someone permission to say "no" is one of the most respectful things you can do. It takes the pressure off both of you.

Often, when you ask directly, you’ll hear something honest: "Actually, we’re still thinking" or "We decided to wait until spring." That’s useful. That’s progress.

If you’ve got a few leads ghosting you, try this short message:

You’ll be surprised how many people appreciate being asked, and how many come back to life.

Which brings me to something else…

I remember a listing appointment a few years back where the seller asked me what made me different. I didn’t have a fancy answer. I told her the truth: I follow up. I don’t disappear. And I’ll treat your home like it’s my own family’s.

She signed that day.

What I’ve learned since then is that follow up isn’t just a tactic, it’s a signal. It tells people you’re reliable, that you care, and that you won’t vanish when things get hard. Most agents stop reaching out after two or three attempts. But real relationships are built in the space between "not yet" and "yes." That’s where trust lives.

If you’re working with leads right now, remember that your consistency says more than your credentials ever will. Show up. Keep showing up. And when you do, bring something valuable, a market update, a neighborhood insight, a simple check-in. That’s how you stay top of mind without being annoying. And a great podcast that was recently inspirational for me was the Mary Kay Podcast I listened to last week by Shane Parish. That was super good! 

Last week I challenged one of the agents I coach to record three short video walkthroughs every day for thirty days. Ninety videos total. Crazy right? 

Some were rough. Some I didn’t love. But by day 7, something shifted, they stopped overthinking and started just showing up. And here’s what happened: people started commenting more and some are reaching out. Not because the videos were perfect, but because they were real. They saw her walking through homes, pointing things out, being herself. That kind of content builds trust faster than any polished ad ever could.

At the end of each video, I have asked her to point viewers to a simple download page where they could get a list of homes not yet on the market. That’s where she can capture their info. That’s where the conversations start creating conversion.

If you’ve been putting off video because you’re waiting to feel ready, stop waiting. Start messy. Three videos a day for a month will change how people see you, and how you see yourself. And if that’s too crazy, start with 1 video a day. 

I remember late last year I interviewed Matthew Dicks, the author of the book Storyworthy. Since then I’ve been working on telling better stories in person and online. There’s a question I ask myself at the end of most days: What moment made me stop today, even for a second?

It sounds simple, but it’s become one of the most useful tools I have. Because in those pauses, those small surprises or real conversations, there’s always a story waiting. And stories are what connect us to other people.

I keep a note on my phone called my Story Bank. Every time something happens that feels worth remembering, I write three quick lines:

1. What happened

2. What I felt

3. Why it mattered

No polish. Just the raw moment. Over time, this becomes a library I can pull from for newsletters, social posts, talks, even coaching calls. You don’t need to be a writer to do this. You just need to pay attention. Start tonight. Ask yourself what surprised you today. Write it down. One moment a day adds up to a year of stories you’ll never forget.

Let me leave you with a win…Real estate is a relationship business disguised as a transaction business.

The agents who win long-term aren’t the loudest or the flashiest, they’re the ones who stay connected. They check in without asking for anything. They remember the details. They show up when it matters. And they understand that trust is built slowly, through a thousand small moments of consistency.

So this week, pick one thing:

• Reach out to someone who loves you.

• Ask a lead if they still want to hear from you.

• Record a simple video.

• Write down a moment before you forget it.

You don’t have to do everything, but you do have to do something. The people you’re meant to help are waiting. Go find them.

I’ll see you next week!