#26 RE ProspectingStop Closing. Start Connecting.

Hi ,

Nobody woke up this morning hoping to be "sold" something, especially not by an agent desperate to hit a quota before the year ends..

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. The "Always Be Closing" mindset that so many of us were taught? It's not just outdated. It's counterproductive. When you look at a person and only see a potential transaction, they feel it. A wall goes up. They don't see a professional, they see a predator.

And here's the thing about real estate: it's intimate. We're dealing with people's life savings, their marriages, their kids' school districts, their deepest anxieties about the future. You don't "close" that kind of business with a script. You earn it by actually giving a damn about the human being sitting across from you.

So what does that look like in practice?

It starts with how you think about your database. Stop treating it like a mine where you're digging for gold. Start treating it like a garden you're tending. The people in your phone, your email, your social media, they're not leads. They're relationships. And relationships need consistent, genuine attention to grow.

Here's a rhythm I want you to try. It's simple, but if you stick with it, it will transform your business.

First, get your list in order. Go through your contacts and write down every friend, family member, neighbor, coworker, and classmate. Put them in a spreadsheet or CRM with their phone number, email, birthday, and one personal detail, something that reminds you they're a person, not just a name. Then tag each one: potential client, past client, or strong referrer. Rank them A through D based on how likely they are to pick up when you call. Your A's are your people. Start there.

Then, every weekday, follow what I call the 5-20-1-1-1 rhythm. It’s a challenge we run 2 times a year for those in our coaching organization. 

Reach out personally to five A-level contacts. A text, a call, a voice note. Ask about their life. Comment on something real. Offer help if you can. And somewhere in there, gently, gently, remind them you're in real estate. Not desperately. Just naturally, the way you'd mention anything else about your life.

Spend ten minutes on social media giving twenty thoughtful touches. Not just likes, actual comments that show you read the post and care about the person. Be a human, not a blur of thumbs-up emojis.

Post one thing to your own feed. Something valuable. Something real. Not another cookie cutter "just listed" graphic that looks like everyone else's.

Write one handwritten note. Pick someone celebrating a milestone, or someone you just talked to yesterday. A short, sincere card. In a world of digital noise, handwritten ink says "I took time for you."

And meet one new person. At the gym, walking the dog, at a community event. Ask questions. Listen. If it comes up naturally, let them know you're the neighborhood real estate resource.

Log all of it in your CRM. Keep the streak going for thirty days and watch what happens. The compound effect builds a pipeline warmer than any paid lead source because it's built on something real.

This isn't about working harder. It's about working more humanly. When you show up consistently for people, not to close them, but to connect with them, your database stops being a cold list of names. It becomes a community. People who trust you. People who refer you. People who call you first when it's time to move.

That's the business. Not scripts. Not pressure tactics. Not desperation disguised as hustle.

Just humans connecting with humans. Everything else follows from there.

Many blessings,